


Between The Lines

by pinkpurplesky



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, Mention of Death, mention of car accidents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29071557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkpurplesky/pseuds/pinkpurplesky
Summary: In 2015, The New York Times published an article about series of questions that could lead to love. To save the date, Johnny and Doyoung decide to try these questions to see if they are going to fall in love. In the end, it's all between the lines.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Collections: Johnny Fic Fest: Round Two





	1. When The Time Is Right

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written for Johnny Fic Fest and the prompt code is "#JS045". I hope you enjoy it!

Johnny left the operation room with relief. It was an easy procedure but every operation had its risks so he couldn’t act recklessly. The surgery went well and the patient was going to be okay. While washing his hands he told the resident to tell the good news to the anxious family. This was his tactic, if the procedure went well, residents would talk to the family but if he had bad news, he would talk to the family to tell the bad news. While he was on his way to his room he saw Jaehyun and he was holding coffees that were bought for both. Johnny couldn’t say no to this offer and took a sip from his coffee. Though it was from the shop that Johnny didn’t like, he chose to not say anything because he needed some energy boost after the surgery and he still had patients to take care of, also this was a gesture from Jaehyun and he was not used to it at all. It was obvious that Jaehyun had something to say but somehow he couldn’t say it or he was trying his best to find the right words.

Jaehyun was focused on the table and one of his eyebrows was lifted, he looked curious and excited but he also looked like he wasn’t sure how to put the words together. Johnny felt like he had to break the silence because he was feeling the pain Jaehyun was feeling. He could let his best friend suffer and he was enjoying this so much but he had patients waiting.

“What is on your mind?” Johnny finally asked him. “Huh,” Jaehyun answered and all he could say was “Nothing.”

“Oh, come on!” he yelled. “You give yourself up so easily with your eyes, face, and also,” Johnny didn’t finish the sentence he wanted Jeahyun to say, “and my ears. Thank you for letting me know.” His ears would always give him away on every occasion by turning red.

“Since you brought it up,” Jaehyun continued to talk. “I have something in my mind that I have been thinking about for a while.” He was being mischievous and he was enjoying it.

Johnny interrupted him with, ”Wait, I know what it is.” He stopped dramatically and said, “You’re in love with me.” Johnny put his hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, “You can say it now.” “You know what,” Jaehyun pushed Johnny’s hand and started his monologue. Johnny was being annoying but this was not going to stop Jaehyun to say what was on his mind. “Yes, my friend. Our topic is love. Love that is so great and magical. It makes you feel like you can conquer the world, little butterflies on your stomach,” he was touring the room like he was on a stage. “But it’s also tricky. You can’t wait for it. You have to fight for it, earn it.” Johnny was confused and waiting for Jaehyun to get to the point. “And that being said,” finally he was getting to the point. “My suggestion is you to find love and start going on dates,” while Johnny’s eyebrow was rising, Jaehyun went on talking without giving Johnny a chance to speak. “In my opinion, you can, and you should go on a date with Doyoung.”

“Is this your friend Doyoung that you always talk about?” Johnny could ask. 

“The one and only,” Jaehyun said with a big smile on his face.

At first, Johnny didn’t know what to say because inside, he knew Jaehyun was right. He was tired of being single, but he wasn’t sure. Jaehyun was trying to set them up for so long, but every time, something came up and nothing happened. “You know man, you have been trying to set us up for like I don’t know for so long, and every time something comes up it’s clear that the universe doesn’t want us to get together at this point.”

“That’s exactly what Doyoung said when I asked him about this. That’s why you’re so perfect together.”

“Oh really?”

Johnny was not interested in this Doyoung guy that Jaehyun was talking about since the beginning of time, and Johnny never understood why Jaehyun was thinking that these two would be a good match.

Every time Jaehyun tried to put these two people in the same environment, something came up. Either Johnny had an urgent surgery to go or Doyoung was stuck in traffic and couldn’t see this Johnny guy. Both of them, without them knowing, were convinced that the universe didn’t want them together.

“The universe doesn’t want us together because we would be so cute together and the world is not ready for this.” This was the sentence that gave hope to Jaehyun because two of his best friends were saying the same thing and there couldn’t be a more accurate pairing in the world.

“Dude listen to me and believe me. I am just asking you to go on a date, if you don’t like each other then it’s fine,” Jaehyun was trying his best game. “I wouldn’t bother you two if I didn't think you were compatible,” He was telling the truth, these two men were the most compatible people out there, and they would be very cute. Plus, they were both single for a long time. He continued with, “Also, after your past relationships, you need people that can understand you.”

Johnny knew Jaehyun was right about what he said. Yes, his past relationships were not so great and he ended up getting hurt, multiple times. Hence Johnny was hesitant about opening his heart to people and going through all the same thing again.

But Jaehyun was right. It was time to start dating again. He couldn’t avoid it anymore. In the end, dinner wouldn’t hurt anybody.

“Yeah you’re right and I know I trust you, you were right about my past relationships. The ones you didn’t like turned out to be a piece of shit,” yes they were but it took so long for Johnny to see it. “Be honest, were you sabotaging my brain to bring us together?"

“Oh come on,” Jaehyun yelled. “I know I’m smart but I wouldn’t use this to sabotage your brain.”

“Okay, okay. Now cool down a little.” Johnny took a sip from his coffee.

“So, will you consider it?” Jaehyun asked.

“Oh fuck it,” Johnny said and took his phone out of his pocket. “What is this guy’s phone number?”

For a second, Jaehyun thought Johnny was joking, but he was serious. “Alright, I will give you his number but also let him know that you’ll contact him. That way I’ll know if you were mocking me."

“The amount of faith you have in me is tearing me up man, I'm so lucky to have you as my friend,” Johnny said this with such a sarcastic tone, which reminded Doyoung to Jaehyun. Again, “what a perfect match,” he thought.

“Alright since I have his phone number, I’ll text him after work because I am a busy man and I have patients waiting for me,” and Johnny opened the door for Jaehyun. 

Maybe Jaehyun was right, maybe they were a good match. He heard so many stories about Doyoung and at this point, he felt like he knew Doyoung for years too. He had all the basic information and some embarrassing drunk stories that Jaehyun told about him whenever he had the chance. Based on what Jaehyun told him, Johnny wouldn’t say that they were the best match. There was something that Jaehyun saw which he couldn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt anybody to go on a date with Doyoung.

Johnny was finishing up his work and getting ready to leave work. After the conversation he had with Jaehyun, he was thinking about what to say first to doyoung. He was feeling nervous because after a long time he was going to do something like this and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to go back to dating. He thought about what to say, how to start a conversation with him but he was afraid that he forgot basic human communication skills after a few failed attempts. He had to say something, after all, he promised Jaehyun, eventually, he was going to send him a message. While he was struggling, he heard a notification sound from his phone.

Johnny had mixed feelings about this one. He has not been in a relationship for a while and he was afraid that he might ruin this one as he did in the past. He was more afraid to hurt someone without the intention. He was afraid to make the same mistakes over and over again. That’s why he hasn’t been in a relationship in a long time. He was rusty but he was also afraid. Maybe Jaehyun was right and Doyoung was the perfect match for him. Maybe it would work out this time.

Johnny left work and he was on his way home. He turned on the radio just for the noise. A rock channel came on, which he didn’t mind. After the commercial break, the DJ was talking about love. Oh God, here comes another cupid, Johnny thought and rolled his eyes.

_“The mystery of love is, you never know when you’re going to fall in love. Sometimes it develops in time, and you know that person is the one you love. Sometimes it happens in an instant. It captures your whole body and mind. Sometimes it hurts, it hurts so bad. It almost feels like the world beneath you opens and you fall. You crash to the ground and it aches, leaving a scar. Hence, people can struggle to start over. But when the time is right, people can start over. Find the love they are looking for. This one is for those who are struggling to start over. The Time Is Right For Love by Whitesnake.” ___

__

__“Are you fucking kidding me?”_ _

__

__It was a long day at work, Johnny was so tired but he needed to talk to Doyoung about their first date. He thought about a few lines that he could say that might work. Usually, he was not the type to be nervous but something about Doyoung made him anxious._ _

__

__He finally found the courage to hit the dial button. The phone rang once, rang twice, third… Johnny was about to lose hope. It was not that late at night but maybe Doyoung fell asleep and didn’t hear the phone. While it was still ringing, he was about to hang up but then he heard a voice._ _

__

___"Hello.” ____ _

___ _

___“Oh hi, Doyoung. I hope I didn't wake you up. I thought you were asleep, if you are unavailable we can talk later.”_ _ _

___ _

____“No, no, no, don’t worry. I left my phone in the other room. I was not asleep.” _Doyoung giggled.__ _ _ _

___ _

___“Oh, that’s a relief,” Johnny also giggled but he was also struggling. “So, ugh. you know, I was just going to ask you if you are available this Saturday. If yes, I would like to take you on a date,” Johnny’s heart was beating so fast, he felt like he was young again._ _ _

___ _

____“Ah yes, sure. Is dinner okay with you?”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

___“Yes it’s fine, I know a nice place and I think you will like it. So can I come to pick you up at 7?”_ _ _

___ _

____“7 is perfect.” ____ _ _

___ _

___And there was silence. Both were silent and didn't talk for a few seconds._ _ _

___ _

___“So I guess it’s settled,” Johnny tried to break the silence. “Good night Doyoung,” was all he could say._ _ _

___ _

____“Good night Johnny.” ____ _ _

___ _

___This was it. It was real. He was going on a date with Doyoung. He was excited, nervous and also he had a positive feeling about this. On normal dates and hook-ups, he never felt this way. There was something about this stranger that he couldn't explain. That phone conversation made his heart flutter, he felt like he was in high school again. Doyoung had a very soft and kind voice which Johnny liked. He was quieter while talking on the phone. Maybe he was tired and maybe that was how he talked to strangers, but this was not how Johnny imagined, in a positive way._ _ _

___ _

___Johnny was about to sleep and he heard a notification noise. It was Doyoung that sent his address to him with a note of a short cut so that Johnny wouldn’t get lost on his way. He found this cute without any reason. He noticed he was smiling at Doyoung’s message when his muscles started to hurt. He was not used to this, at all._ _ _


	2. When The Eyes Meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you for reading this fic and I hope you're enjoying this so far. Before starting this chapter, I would like to warn you that one part of the chapter contains mention of a car accident and death. If you're triggered by it, I will put a trigger warning before so that you can pass that part. There will be a " * " at the end, and you can continue reading from there.

Days went on by and it was finally Saturday. Johnny was excited more than ever because it has been so long since he went on a date with someone. He was rusty and nervous about what to say or how to act next to Doyoung. All-day the thought about the date. What he should wear, what perfume he should choose, should he leave the house early, so that he could be there early. Just to be prepared for traffic and he wouldn’t make Doyoung wait. So many thoughts were crossing his mind. He prepared so many scenarios.

He wore black pants and a light brown turtleneck jersey. With that, he chose the perfume that Jaehyun bought for him as a birthday present, just for days like these. Johnny would wear this perfume when he wanted to impress someone and it always worked. people always complimented his perfume. He checked himself for the last time from the mirror and he was ready to leave. Johnny looked nice. He looked casual but also expensive. He took a deep breath and left the house.

Luckily, there was no traffic and he was there a few minutes before. He texted Doyoung that he was waiting. A few minutes later, doyoung showed up. He was wearing a long black coat, which was appropriate to the weather, a blue shirt and black pants, just like Johnny. He also wore a black polo hat, which made him look even more stylish. Doyoung was not overdressed and Johnny found this very sweet.

When Doyoung saw Johnny’s car, he smiled and Johnny could see Doyoung’s gummy smile from far away. This must have been a good sign after all. He got out of the car and greeted Doyoung.

“I hope you didn't wait outside for so long, and I see you have no coat with you,” Doyoung said.

“No, you don’t have to worry about it, I mostly waited inside so everything was fine and actually I have my coat-” but he couldn’t finish his sentence because he had forgotten it. Until then, Johnny didn’t realize that. “Well,” he giggled. “I have it at home, but it’s fine. We’ll move by car anyway and I think it’ll be fine.” “Yeah,” Doyoung giggled. “It should be fine.”

As Johnny was driving, he noticed Doyoung was being so quiet. He was playing with his fingers and watching the city lights. During winter, it would get dark earlier and when it’s dark, Johnny thought the city looked better. The night sky was more interesting to see and apparently, it looked more interesting to Doyoung too. Doyoung was the one breaking the silence.

“The city,” he started talking. He was still watching the outside, “It looks nice, and interesting when it’s dark.” Johnny didn’t know what to say, all he could do was agree. It was a short ride, so they didn’t have to talk much and after this conversation, they stopped talking.

They arrived, but they had to walk across the road and Doyoung was so careless to look around. He took a few steps and all of a sudden he felt a big hand pulling him back. It was Johnny. He was frightened.

“Don’t you ever look around?!” he yelled to Doyoung and held Doyoung’s hand. “That car was about to crush you, be careful next time.” Johnny didn’t let him talk and kept on holding Doyoung’s hand. Neither Johnny nor Doyoung let each other's hands go. It was a small walk to the diner but they still held hands. Johnny’s hands were so much bigger, compared to Doyoung’s hands.

It was a small restaurant and Doyoung liked the cozy vibe it had. It was at the side of the city he didn’t go to before, which felt new to him. They chose a table close to the fireplace. Since Johnny forgot to bring his coat, Doyoung suggested it would be better for him to sit next to a warm place.

The date started normally. They ordered some food and drinks, shared some basic info like their jobs. Doyoung was talking about being an architect and Johnny being a surgeon, how hard their jobs were. Some old stories that Jaehyun have already told them. Johnny already knew how Doyoung got an A from a presentation while being hungover. Doyoung also knew how Johnny decided to go to the med school during a drunk awakening. Jaehyun was the one starting this, also the one breaking the mood. In the fırst hour, they said “Oh, I know this one. Jaehyun told me before,” multiple times.

After spending a few minutes in complete silence, Johnny remembered something that he read a while ago. It was an article about 36 questions. He suggested doing this to Doyoung and he agreed. It would be different than saying the same basic things and telling the same stories over and over again.

“Have you seen these questions before? And how should we do this?” Doyoung asked.

“No, I haven’t. I just read the article and thought it was cool but I don’t remember the questions. About the answering, I'm fine with everything.”

“Okay, I’ll ask first,” Doyoung opened the questions. He looked like he was impressed and his eyes got bigger. “So, this is an interesting one. Okay. So this says; who would you want as a dinner guest, this could be anyone. Who?”

“Dead or alive? Does it matter?” Johnny asked. Depending on the situation, he had different answers.

“As I understood, this can be anybody.”

“Then I choose Princess Diana. I would love to have dinner with her. She was cool and had a special style. Also, I would love to hear all those royal stories. There you go, here’s my answer.” Johnny took a breath. “So, is it my turn now?” Doyoung nodded.

“Okay, question number two. Would you like to be famous? If yes, in what way?”

Doyoung tilted his head, raised his eyebrow. To Johnny, this was a simple question but Doyoung was thinking hard on this one. “So?” Johnny asked.

“Oh, sorry,” Doyoung felt embarrassed. “I wouldn't want to be famous. Yes, I sing and would love our band growing but I don’t think I would enjoy being famous. I don’t think I could handle fame.”

Johnny agreed with him. “Oh, I get that. I think when you’re famous, people can be in your business more and I don’t know, some people can be good at managing it but yeah not everyone can handle it.” 

“Exactly. The idea of people being curious about my life is kind of scary. What am I doing? What am I wearing? Who was with me the other day? I like how things are going,” he stopped for a second. “Besides, my life is not that interesting. So if I was famous, I don’t think people would be interested.” Doyoung giggled and Johnny realized this one time he didn’t cover his mouth when he giggled. All night whenever he laughed Doyoung was covering his mouth. He had a gummy smile, which Johnny found very adorable. 

At the same time he took a sip from his drink and looked at Johnny. Johnny’s face was leaned on his hand and he was listening to Doyoung with joy. Doyoung realized how lovely Johnny looked while smiling. To change the mood, Doyoung said “It’s my turn to ask now.”

“Oh, this is interesting,” Doyoung lifted his eyebrow while reading the question. “So, before a phone call do you rehearse what you are going to say in your head? If yes, why?”

“Interesting indeed,” Johnny answered. “Well, you’re going to laugh at me for saying this, and also, this is very embarrassing for me to say but yes. If it’s an important call for me, it helps me to calm down during a call. In fact, I rehearsed what I was going to tell you before I asked you out on a date.” After this answer, Johnny looked smaller, like a little kid.

Doyoung asked, “So does this mean that I am important to you?” with an impish smile on his face. After this, Johnny waited for a while to answer. “Yes, I mean of course you’re a friend of Jaehyun and also this doesn’t mean you have to be someone’s friend to be important. You’re important as a person. You’re a lovely person.” Johnny was talking faster, as he was feeling more embarrassed. His cheeks were getting red after every word. “This is the reason why I never go on dates. I always find a way to embarrass myself.” Doyoung was enjoying this so much but he also felt bad for Johnny. He felt the need to interrupt, “I get your point and no, you are not embarrassing yourself. Watching yourself trying to explain was funny but you didn’t. You don’t have to worry. You’re cute,” Doyoung said and smiled. As he was talking, Johnny’s face was changing and he was smiling. Doyoung was so comforting with his words.

If this was another date, Doyoung would laugh and would not feel the need to comfort the other person but Johnny was different. Yes, he was a friend of Jaehyun, and Jaehyun tried hard to set these two up. Johnny needed someone to save the situation.

“Okay, okay. It’s my time to ask now,” Johnny interrupted to change the mood and also, the subject. “What is a perfect day to you?” he asked. Doyoung stopped for a moment. “Well, I like being with people I love. I like the days where I just stop worrying about life, just be in the moment with them. It could be a day where we just go out for a coffee or watch the sunrise together. The most complicated thing to most basic things,” he stopped for a second again. He was hesitating about what he was going to say. His face dropped all of a sudden but he took a breath, looking directly into Johnny’s eyes. “After spending so many years by myself, alone, I just want to be with people I love. With the family, I chose for myself. It doesn’t matter what we do.” He left out a breath. ”This is my perfect day,” a burst of nervous laughter left his mouth.

“This really sounds like a perfect day,” Johnny added. “Being with people you love. I get your point of view. I didn’t have many people around me while growing up too, and I had to create the best memories with the people around me as much as I could before it was too late. I learned to enjoy the simple things.”

Doyoung’s eyes started to shine, he was smiling. This time, it was Johnny’s words that were comforting. Somehow he experienced the same things as him because anytime Doyoung tried to enjoy the simple things, people used to think he was fake, or something was wrong with him. He used to feel like no one understood him but Johnny was different. Maybe Jaehyun was right when saying they were the same but also very different.

“I mean, I also enjoy the days where I’m just by myself and watch my favorite tv shows and do nothing else, but this is not my official answer,” Doyoung interrupted and asked the next question.

“Okay, this is my turn to ask now. When did you last sing to yourself or somebody else?” he asked. “Well, this morning in the shower. I sang _Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar._ It’s a good song that can hype you up.” Doyoung laughed uncontrollably. “Heartbreaker, huh? Are you a heartbreaker big boy?” Johnny felt betrayed.

“You know, it was already embarrassing to say that out loud and you are making it worse. And you know what? I even sang _I’m So Excited by The Pointer Sisters_. With a comb on my hand like it was a microphone. I felt really good.” Doyoung couldn’t hold it in anymore. He burst into laughter. “I am so sorry for laughing, it’s nice to see you enjoying yourself,” he stopped. “Oh, that sounded so wrong.” This time it was Johnny laughing. “I didn’t even figure it out until you mentioned it.”

Doyoung was not covering his mouth while laughing. Johnny, couldn’t help but smile when he realized that

“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old. For the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?” Johnny asked. “I think wisdom doesn’t come with age. I would like to have the body of a 30-year-old. I’ll never be wise enough, at least I can have a nice body. And I would like to see people’s reactions when I tell them my real age when I look like a 30-year-old. Kind of like my Benjamin Button era.”

“Okay, it’s my turn to ask now,” Doyoung went on with talking. “Hit me with your best shot, sir,” Johnny said. “Ah, I see. More Pat Benatar references,” Doyoung looked over his phone and said, “Nice.”

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you will actually die?” Doyoung thought this was a good question. “Well, no actually,” Johnny answered. “The thing is, after working in the medical field for so long and seeing so many people die, I realized death comes at the most unexpected moments. All the patients I have lost probably were thinking they were going to die in peace. Some of them did, but some of them suffered for a while. So I stopped thinking about it. Just living the way but not in a carpe diem way.” Doyoung was impressed by Johnny’s words. _Not in a carpe diem way._

Johnny was the type of person that could be funny and serious at the same time. He was good at positively changing the mood and he seemed like he was doing it without the intention. Doyoung started to understand why Jaehyun liked him and trusted him a lot. “A very good answer. I liked living the day but not in a carpe diem idea. sounds fun.” Doyoung said. “Are you ready for your question?” Johnny asked and Doyoung nodded as he was taking a sip from his drink.

“Okay, name the three things that you and your partner appear to have in common?” Johnny asked. “Let's see... Our concept of a perfect day is similar. We both have funny drunk memories, and lastly, we both love to sing. There you go. Was I right?” Doyoung asked with passion. He looked very proud of his answers when Johnny said he was right.

“Next one. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?” Doyoung asked. Johnny stopped for a while. He took a breath and a sip from his drink, “After blaming myself for being alive, for a very long time, I guess I’ll say living healthily to this one. Waking up, doing my job, doing things that I love is truly a blessing. Yes, it sucks that I blamed myself for so long, which I shouldn’t have done, but now, I am very grateful for everything I’ve been through.

Trigger Warning // Mention of car accident and death

*Doyoung had no idea what Johnny was talking about and he was at a point where he didn’t know what to do. Johnny had a very traumatic experience but he wasn’t sure whether he should ask or not. “If you’re comfortable with sharing, may I ask why you blamed yourself for being alive?” Doyoung asked. “Oh,” said Johnny. “When I was young, I and my parents had a traffic accident, and they died. I blamed myself because my dad was in the driver’s seat and he got distracted for a second because of me crying. He and my mom were trying to calm me down,” He stopped. “Yeah, after that. I blamed myself.”

*

All Doyoung could say was, “I’m so sorry for your loss, it must have been a very difficult experience for you, but I’m so glad that you made it here and I’m very proud of you.” He stopped. He wanted to say more but he wasn’t sure how Johnny would react, he clearly moved on from these past experiences and he made it so far. Doyoung knew Johnny didn’t have an easy life because Jaehyun told him but he never got into details about it.

He started to feel bad about asking about it. He reached out for Johnny's hand without thinking, rubbed his thumb on his hand. He saw Johnny smiling. Doyoung usually was not the type to do this on a first date but this moment was unexpected. It also felt natural and also right.

He tapped on Johnny’s hand and said, “Okay, this is your turn. Ask me the next question.” Johnny was glad how Doyoung changed the mood and the topic. This wasn’t a conversation that he imagined to have on a first date but, from the start, he had this feeling of this date wasn’t going to be normal.

“Next question for you is an interesting one. If you could change anything about the way you were raised what would you change?”

Doyoung was caught off guard by this question. “Well, this caught me off guard. If I could change one thing, I would like my parents to love me more. I felt like I was a burden to them because they were never there for me. We used to live in the same house but, it was never a home for me. At some point, we were like roommates. It was quiet there, no joy, nothing.”

All of his memories were coming back to him, unprovoked. His face was fading but then he smiled. “My parents didn’t care about me but not my grandma,” he said with a sad smile. “That poor woman did her best for me. She was there for me all the time. She listened to me when I needed it, guided me. She became my mother and father, my whole family. She came to my year-end shows, took me to my exams, she even studied with me.” His face changed quickly, “but after I got into the university, she passed away.”

This felt like now it was Johnny’s turn to reach out for his hand, but this time he held Doyoung’s hand tightly. Another smile appeared on Doyoung’s face. “I guess after she figured that I didn’t need anyone in my life anymore, and I could do it on my own, she said ‘My job is here done’ and left the chat.” Johnny laughed, he felt guilty for laughing but Doyoung was laughing too. “To sum up the answer, I would want my parents to love me and care about me more. That’s what I would change. And I’m sorry if I bothered you with my past, this was also unexpected for me.”

Johnny felt sorry for him, Doyoung didn’t need to apologize. “No, never say that, and I’m glad you shared this with me. Thank you for telling me all this. No, I feel special.” Johnny lifted his shoulders and was acting proud just to make Doyoung smile.

“You know, this could be a lie, a story that I made up in my head just for the story purposes,” with a smirk on his face. Doyoung wanted to kill his mood just for fun. “Well, this means you’re a good liar and I would still believe you,” Johnny said but he wasn’t going to let Doyoung kill his mood. “But I also know that you’re a bad liar, so at least you tried.”

They moved on to the next question, which was needed. Time was passing by already and they had so much more questions to answer but they were not in a hurry. They were both enjoying this experience, curious to see where the night would go.

“This one is for you Johnny,” Doyoung said. “Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.” After his last answer, Johnny wasn’t expecting this question, at all. Doyoung started the timer. He was curious to hear more about Johnny’s life.

“So, okay. You know about the whole car accident. After that, there was a long recovery process. Physically and mentally. I blamed myself for so long, and at all those times my grandma was there for me. She and my grandpa took care of me. Papa passed away a few years later. After that, it was just me and my grandma. Just like you, it was me and my grandma all the time. She took care of me all the time. Then I got into med school and she found out that I was not _normal._ Which was shocking because I thought I was being too obvious,” a sad smile came out of his mouth. “This was a hard truth for her. Then, we stopped talking. All those years, all we had was each other but one moment was enough to erase it all away. Gladly, my parents left me a good amount of money so that I was able to pay my school bills but also I was working part-time for my pocket money. Then I met Jaehyun. I graduated, took the medical specialty exam, became a pediatric surgeon. I didn’t have many relationships, few ones were serious but they didn’t end up well. My life is based on my work, my cat, and cooking new recipes,” he was done but also he was thinking if he forgot some details. “Wow you still have 24 seconds, would you like to add anything to your story?” Doyoung was impressed. It was more than he expected. “No, but if you have questions I can answer,” Johnny answered.

“Johnny,” Doyoung stopped and said. “We’re playing a question and answer game on our first date. Our questions are enough I think. But if I have further questions in the future, I will ask.” He laughed, he didn’t want to sound too aggressive, but Johnny was already laughing.

The first set of questions were about to come to an end. “So, Doyoung. If you could wake tomorrow having gained any ability or quality, what would it be?” Johnny asked the last question of the first part. “So. I am, sometimes, impatient with everything. As you know, if I dream about this building and visualize it in my head very quickly but turning it into reality takes time. I want everything to happen in seconds and this habit can be challenging for my co-workers. They don’t mind it that much but it would be better for me and them.”

And with that, they finished the first part of this game. For the second part, Doyoung suggested the jazz bar that he was working in, for a better atmosphere and free drinks. Johnny already knew the address for it, he went there for Doyoung’s last birthday party but he couldn’t stay longer. There was an emergency at the hospital, so he had to leave early. That day, Johnny felt sorry for not being able to say happy birthday to Doyoung, but it was a very crowded party and even Jaehyun didn’t have the chance to congratulate Doyoung.

The ride to the jazz bar was more comfortable than the ride to the restaurant, but this time Doyoung was a little angry at Johnny for not letting him pay for his food. He didn’t let him pay because Doyoung already said the next round of drinks would be from him, so why not Johnny thought, but this didn’t last for too long. They were talking more and they were getting more comfortable around each other, not hesitant to look into each other’s eyes.


	3. When It Hits the Right Spot on The Heart

Doyoung was still nagging about Johnny not letting him pay for his food. But this time he was not going to let him pay.  
The bar was full, and people were enjoying the sweet sounds of jazz. People at the bar were surprised to see Doyoung with a date. Normally, Doyoung wouldn’t bring dates to the bar, this could mean only one thing, and it was that Doyoung wanted to impress Johnny.

They were walking to the table, accompanied by the curious looks of the waiters. They found an empty place that was very far from the bar and the stage. To Doyoung, this was the best place to have a conversation with someone but also, you could enjoy the music without getting distracted. Johnny chose to trust Doyoung on this one, just like he trusted Doyoung the wine. Doyoung knew the place better than him, just like how Johnny knew the place before here. 

The bar looked very small, but with the way, they decorated it looked like it was larger. The walls were the color of wine red to fit the ambiance. It also felt cozy to many people, not like a home but also, the atmosphere was welcoming.

This time they were pretty quick to jump to the questions. They were not feeling nervous around each other. It was Doyoung’s turn to ask and he was curious to hear Johnny’s answer to this one “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, would you want to know?”

A plain and sharp “No,” came out from Johnny’s mouth. 

“Knowing the future wouldn’t change anything. I think, knowing too many causes more trouble,” he stopped for a second. “Well, maybe I would ask about those conspiracy theories. It would be fun to know about those,” and he laughed it off. Doyoung couldn’t help to not agree with Johnny. 

For the next question, “Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why you haven’t done it?” Johnny asked. Doyoung had only one answer to this one, and it was, of course, seeing the Northern Lights. Doyoung had dreamed of it for years but he never had the chance for it. There was always something that came up along the way. “Every year, I used to say that I was going to go on that trip but I never could.”

At that moment, Johnny made Doyoung pinky promise. “Kim Doyoung, do you pinky promise to go to see the Northern Lights next year, without excuses,” Johnny asked. Doyoung raised his hand like he was taking an oath and said: “I pinky promise you to see the Northern Lights next year, without excuses,” and they really pinky promised to each other. No one would know if Doyoung would go to see the lights but at least, they had fun while making promises. 

“Oh my god, we’re already at the 15th question and there’s still more to go. Get ready for this one,” Doyoung said.

“What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?” was the question. Johnny had many answers to this one. His job was an accomplishment, and all these cases, all those kids that walked out of that hospital with a big smile on their faces, always felt like a big accomplishment. “You may find my answer very basic but my answer would be all these kids walk out of that hospital with a smile on their faces, it feels like the biggest accomplishment. That’s when I understand that this is worth all the tiredness, sleepless nights at the hospital, or even waiting by their bedsides for hours,” Johnny answered.

The way that Johnny talked was very soothing and he had this aura that felt magical to Doyoung. This man was already in love with his job and his every word or gesture was proof of that. If Johnny had the chance, he could talk about his job all night, and Doyoung would listen to them. 

The funny thing was, Doyoung would never let Jaheyun talk too much about his jobs or cool stories but he was listening to Johnny talking about his job without any complaints. If Jaehyun ever heard this, he would complain all the time. Doyoung was enjoying this date so much that Jaehyun was the last person he could think of. For Doyoung, now it was time to answer a new question. 

“What do you value the most in a friendship?” Johnny asked. This was very easy for Doyoung. “I value honesty the most. I appreciate people who are straightforward with me, but they don’t have to be too harsh with their words,” Doyoung giggled. “I would like to know the truth no matter what, or how much it hurts. This helps me to trust people.” 

For the next one, Doyoung asked Johnny’s most treasured memory, “Well, I had to move out for college but also at that time my grandmother found out that I was bisexual and the household was becoming toxic day by day.” As Johnny was talking, Doyoung’s face also has changed. Johnny must have understood that and added, ”You may wonder how this is my most treasured memory,” Johnny giggled. It was evident that Doyoung was confused about it. “But the day I entered my apartment for the first time and when I looked out from the window, it was a different place. No one could judge me.” As he was talking, his gestures were getting bigger, “Finally, I was going to be able to be myself. Finally, I wouldn’t have to explain myself to people. For the first time, I felt free.” Johnny had a big smile on his face while telling this story.

“This story took a different turn than what I expected but I’m happy about it,” Doyoung said.

Doyoung was so impressed by this story, more than he could imagine. He was feeling bad for saying “No” to Jaehyun whenever he brought the topic of Johnny. At first, Doyoung was not so enthusiastic about this date. He used to think that Johnny was one of those cool doctors. But every second, Johnny was proving him wrong.

After his question, “What is your worst memory?” Johnny asked. “But you don’t have to answer if it’s too terrible and if you are not comfortable with sharing,” and he added. Most of the guys that Doyoung dated used to act kindly to impress him. But with Johnny, this wasn’t the case. He was acting kindly towards everyone and Doyoung found this about him very endearing.

“I have many terrible memories but this one is in my top 3,” Doyoung’s face was changing as he was talking. “I was working on a project and I worked for weeks and this coworker of mine just stole my idea. My plans, my drawings, everything I worked for, and when I called him out, he just lied and blamed me. The terrible part is everyone knew I was working on that project and none of them said anything about it,” Doyoung looked so angry. “And the worst part is that person got a promotion but not me.”

For the next one, Doyoung asked “If you knew you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?” Johnny didn’t understand the question at first because he got distracted by the music. _Sunday Kind Of Love_ was playing, and he couldn’t help to lose himself to music. 

“Sorry, I got distracted for a second. Can you repeat please?” and Doyoung repeated.  
“Oh okay. If I am going to die suddenly why would I change the way I am living?” He was confused and Doyoung got confused about the question too. They started giggling and while trying to understand the question they decided to skip it. And they moved on to the next one.

“What does friendship mean to you?” Johnny asked. He knew what Doyoung was going to say because they both had the same path in their lives. “Family that I can choose,” Doyoung answered. Johnny was not surprised at all because if it was him to answer to this one, he would say the same thing. 

Doyoung asked, “What roles do love and affection play in your life?”  
He answered “Who can live without love and affection?!” in a joyful way. As time was going by Johnny was being more expressive with his words. “No one and I mean no one can live without love and affection. If someone is saying the opposite, they are only lying to themselves.” Doyoung was enjoying this so much and he got the chance of seeing Johnny’s funnier side. 

The next question was not something that Doyoung had expected but Johnny was so excited about it. “Share something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of 5 items.”  
After he read the question, Doyoung’s big smile was showing and Johnny was really curious to hear Doyoung’s answer. Johnny was already nervous about the date and it would be great to hear something nice from Doyoung. It would also help Johnny with what Doyoung was thinking about him.  
Also, he knew that Doyoung would never lie and he would only share his true opinions. “You are actually funny and that’s a great feature,” he was also counting with his fingers. “You have a cute laugh, and also your body is amazing,” Doyoung checked Johnny’s body while saying that and his eyes were also saying obviously. “You are very caring about the people around you,” this was the 4th one. He was struggling to find the 5th one and for that, he said “You are good at referencing Pat Benatar song titles to your conversations.”  
Johnny laughed but he also agreed with everything Doyoung said with one exception, he could reference any song title into his conversations. 

After laughing and ordering more wine, it was time for some deep questions. 

“How close and warm was your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people?” Johnny felt like this question was hitting the right spot on his heart.  
“I can’t say that I had the happiest childhood ever and it would be silly of me. But I must say, I remember my childhood nicely. My grandma tried her best to make me happy and make me feel loved. But I can say that my childhood was loving and warm.” 

After this deep question for Johnny, the next question was about to hit the right spot on Doyoung’s heart. This question was about his relationship with his mother. Before asking Johnny hesitated to ask this question, but he had to. “When I was in college, my mom retired from her job and after that, she committed herself to me but it was too late for everything. She was never there for me because of her work, she never spent the time to love me. Yes, I was her son but she didn’t have any idea about my interests or even about my favorite food.”

Johnny could see the anger in Doyoung’s eyes. He was mad is parents and he still couldn’t process it properly. “I told you about how my parents were not there for me when I was younger. After she retired from her job, she wanted to act like my mom again and she was finding these about me years later. She tried to love me but she never could. Now she tries to do all that but I already moved out for college, it was too late. And we grew apart from each other.” 

These last questions were hitting the right spots. It was like opening a wound all of a sudden, the moment when they were not ready. It would bleed but both of them didn’t feel like it was bleeding. Maybe it was the atmosphere or maybe they were feeling comfortable with each other enough to talk about these topics. They were total strangers before tonight but after this set, they were not anymore.


	4. When The Night Is Over

The second set of questions were rough for these two. They sat and didn’t talk for a while. After Doyoung answered his question, Johnny reached out for Doyoung’s hand. It was an instinct and he didn’t hesitate. 

“So, you brought me to your workplace. Next time if you want you can come to the hospital. They make these excellent burgers that are just,” Johnny didn’t finish his sentence but, Doyoung already knew how famous those burgers were, thanks to Jaehyun. Although, this wasn’t his point. 

“Next time?” Doyoung asked and continued. “Do you think there will be a next time?” 

All he wanted was to be playful with him, and seeing Johnny’s face changing was so fun to him. “Well, I mean if you want to. Also, you can visit Jaehyun next time and you’re not obligated to come to the hospital, but I would be happy to see you there.” 

As he was talking, Johnny was feeling like he was sinking deeper and making everything worse. All he wanted was to change the mood but things took a different turn than what he imagined. Johnny would love to go on a second date with him but according to him, the way he said, made things worse. 

Doyoung wanted to end Johnny’s suffering and said this was something that they should talk about at the end of the date and they moved on to the questions.

“Make 3 we statements,” and with that question, they started the final set. Johnny needed a moment to think of an answer. He gestured wait with his hands. He said “Oh,” with excitement. “We both have a deep love for our grandparents,” Doyoung was nodding to his first answer. “We both have a nice smile and we both enjoy my song title references.”

Johnny was proud of his answer because he was able to say something that he wanted to say the whole night. 

For the next one, Johnny said, “Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’” 

This was difficult for Doyoung.

Love? 

Happiness? 

Joy?

He always wanted to share the love with someone. Some of the people in his life weren't there for him when it was about sharing the love. Doyoung always felt alone because of this.

“Love,” he answered. “I wish I had someone with whom I could share the love I had. In the past, I didn’t have many people around me that could share the love I had, and these were pretty bad experiences. So yeah, it would be nice to have someone that could share the love with me. ” 

Johnny didn’t know what to say, but he could understand what Doyoung was saying. He also had bad experiences, where he had no one to share love with but this wasn’t the right time to bring memories, so he didn’t want to comment.

Time for another question.

“If you were going to become a closer friend with me, please share what would be important for me to know?” Doyoung asked, while directly looking at Johnny’s eyes. 

“If we’re becoming close friends I want you to know that I’ll be there for you, I will consider you family because I don’t have one and I will be honest with you,” he stopped talking. He was being straightforward with Doyoung and this was what only mattered. 

The next question was about something Johnny wondered. What Doyoung thought about him and this was something that Johnny was curious about the whole night. 

“Tell me what you like about me. Be very honest, stuff that you might not say to someone you’ve just met,” Johnny asked. He knew Doyoung would be very honest and he was curious to hear what he would about him. 

“Well,” Doyoung started. “You are like a real-life plushie bear,” Johnny didn’t expect this at all, but this sounded very positive. “You look like you are a cuddle material,” Doyoung was actually surprised to say these words, as he was speaking. Definitely, these were not the type of words he would say on a first date. These were not the type of words that he would say to anyone but they were true. 

“You know what,” Johnny started to talk, he was also giggling. “My ex used to call me a teddy bear too.” Doyoung added, “Well he was right. Jaehyun mentioned that you were great at hugs.”

“Alright,” Johnny said. “Stand up.”

“What?”

“I’ll give you a hug for you to live the real-life teddy bear experience,” Johnny said. He was smiling very wide.

Johnny hugged Doyoung. Doyoung was a lot shorter than Doyoung. When he hugged him, Doyoung felt like he was disappearing. After hours, Johnny’s perfume was still there. Interestingly, this was very suitable for him. 

People were looking at them with curious eyes, why these two men were hugging in the middle of the bar. But they didn’t care. 

After their hugging session, Doyoung asked the next question. “Share an embarrassing moment in your life.”

“During med school, there was this professor, and he was ancient. Due to his age, he would talk funny. One day while waiting for his class, I was acting like him and imitating his talking. Little did I know he was behind me and was watching me imitate him. People were pointing at him and telling me to stop doing it,” Johnny giggled. “I didn’t until he said I was not so good at imitating him,” Doyoung was also laughing with him. 

“Years later I had a chance to work with him and he used to make fun of me,” he stopped and continued, “Every. Single. Day”

“I expected a more embarrassing story than this, but this was a nice one too,” Doyoung said. 

And he was ready to answer the next question. “When did you last cry in front of another person? or by yourself?” Johnny asked.  
“I was watching Lion King last night,” Doyoung answered. “I cried like a baby when Mufasa died. Again,” he was embarrassed to share this story but it was the truth. Also, he didn’t have any other story to share.

Now it was his time to ask, “It’s time for you to tell me something you like about me already,” Doyoung asked with pleasure. Just like Johnny, he was curious about what he was thinking.

“Oh, okay,” Johnny said. “I like how you speak your mind and how honest you are,” he was thinking about whether he should say this or not.

“I noticed how you close your mouth with your hands while laughing but after a while, you stopped doing that,” Johnny was avoiding eye contact. “That was cute I think,” he said while smiling.

Doyoung said, “Thank you.” He was going to cover his mouth but on the way, he stopped. 

“What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?” Doyoung asked. 

Johnny didn’t think about this that much. “I get dark humor to some extent but the way I see it, people are using dark humor to be assholes. I also know how people use humor as a coping mechanism but some of them are just not it. You are not funny, you are an asshole.”

Doyoung was pleased with this answer and asked the next one. “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”

Johnny’s face changed when he heard this question. “I would regret not saying to my grandma that I missed her food, and here, the backyard with the swing, the big apricot tree,” he was not looking at Doyoung. He was living those memories, his childhood. He stopped, looked at Doyoung, “By the way, she makes amazing apricot jam, it’s amazing.” A deep sigh came out from his mouth, “I would tell her all of this but she already erased me, so it wouldn’t matter if I did.”

Johnny felt uncomfortable with this question, he wanted to change the subject quickly. For that, he asked the next question. 

“Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Doyoung thought about this for a while, “That would be my first guitar. My grandfather saw me being very interested in music and bought me a guitar one day. Then I took some classes, never became professional about it but I still have it with me and every time I look at it, I remember those sweet days. How they would become so proud of me when I was learning new songs each week, how they were supportive of me.”

Johnny’s head was tilted while listening to Doyoung. Doyoung didn’t have nice childhood memories, like Johnny but, he was enjoying listening to Doyoung’s. “Your grandparents were your real parents back then. I am glad you had them around you when you were a kid. They raised you well.”

Doyoung asked the next question, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?”

“Well, considering my childhood I don’t think I would be disturbed with anyone’s death. Besides, due to my job, I am familiar with the concept of death, and each day it disturbs you less,” Johnny answered. 

And they made it to the 35th question. There was only one left and a task they had to do. This task needed more privacy, so Doyoung brought an idea.

“I’ll take you to a special place for our last question, now take my hand.”

“Where are you taking me?” Johnny asked.

“The roof, the view is nice too come on,” Doyoung raised his voice a little to be more convincing.

“Oh, okay,” he said and Johnny held Doyoung’s hand. They were going up with stairs but it was so dark that it was not the best idea according to Johnny.

When they finally reached the top, Johnny was surprised to see such a nice view. Doyoung was right about it. Johnny wanted to see more and he was walking around.

They found a place to sit. Now they were sitting next to each other. It was cold and Johnny was feeling chilly but he didn’t mind the cold. Doyoung crawled next to Johnny, he understood how Johnny felt chilly. His nose was giving him away. 

“We have the last question to answer and a task to do,” Doyoung said. “Ask away.”

“Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect on how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Johnny asked.

“Well, you see, “ Doyoung said and faked a cough like he had an important question to ask. “Ehem, I really liked this guy, we had so much fun, and he’s really nice. I want to ask him out on a date but I don’t know if I should,” Doyoung said in a shy way.

Johnny understood what Doyoung’s problem was. “You know what, you really should. Based on what you said, he sounds like a nice guy. And I think he wouldn't miss this chance to go on a second date with you again.”

Then Doyoung turned his face to Johnny, “Well, Johnny, would like to go on a second date with me?”  
“Yes!” he said, loudly. “Yes, I would, and if you enjoy, I would like to cook you the best food you can find.”

Doyoung raised his eyebrow, “Seriously though, I am a great cook and it doesn’t have to be at the hospital. You can still come to visit us, Jaehyun would be very happy to see you,“ Johnny said. 

Now, it was time for the final task. They had to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. No laughing, no glancing away. Just staring into each other’s eyes.

Johnny set the timer for it. 4 full minutes. 

Now they were looking at each other. At first, Johnny was being giggly and laughing, but after getting scolded by Doyoung, he managed to stop laughing. 

There wasn’t much so light out, but Johnny was able to see Doyoung’s face. He had such nice dark eyes, his eyelashes were so pretty. He had the smoothest skin ever. There were few wrinkles around his eyes, which came with age. He had smooth, red lips. Something that he discovered was also how obsessed Doyoung was about moisturizing his lips. All night, he was applying his chapstick. This was something that Johnny discovered but thought of it when he was examining his face. 

Even though they were on the roof, they could still hear the music. Tonight’s music choices were a bit odd and felt obvious to Johnny. He felt like they were choosing these songs on purpose. Johnny wouldn’t think there would be well-fitting to the situation types of love songs on the first date. 

It was cold, but Johnny didn’t mind the weather. He didn’t want this night to end. Everything about it was magical. He could understand why Jaehyun was right. He was ready to start over again. 

The staring challenge was over, but they didn’t talk for a while. Johnny didn’t know what to say. Should he kiss Doyoung? Should he say something first? His hands were sweating despite the cold. 

He stood up and walked away from where they were sitting before. He had no reason to do that. He walked to the edge and he started to watch the view, then he felt a weight on his shoulders. It was Doyoung. 

“Thought you might be cold,” Doyoung said. “What a beautiful night. The Moon very bright.”

He was going to keep talking but, Johnny interrupted him.

“Doyoung, can I kiss you?” he asked. 

“Please do,” Doyoung whispered.

It was exciting, they could feel the adrenaline running in their vessels. Hearts were beating as one. It wasn’t magical but close to magic. 

The night was over and they were kissing under the moonlight with sweet sounds of jazz.

_Let's close our eyes_

_And make our own paradise_

_Little we know of it_

_Still, we can try_

_To make a go of it_

_We might have been meant for each other_

_To be or not to be, let our hearts discover_

_Let's fall in love_

_Why shouldn't we fall in love?_

_Now is the time for it_

_While we are young_

_Let's fall in love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this fic <3  
> The New York Times article: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html  
> 


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